Modern Family

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year guys!

Mom and Edward was visiting me in Melbourne for Christmas. I booked a hotel room with bunk beds and Queen-size bed. Mom slept on the queen, Edward on the top, and I'm on the lower bed. Edward is a typical 17-yo teenager, inseparable from his mobile phone. This was our bedtime conversation.

Me: "Hey Edward! What's up?"
"Busy chatting to your girlfriend?"
Ed: "Nope, I don't have a girlfriend, and this is another boy."
Me: "Oh, what happened to that girl who added me on Facebook?"
"She seemed like she was still into you she sent me some messages."
Ed: "Nah, we broke up long time ago."
Me: "Oh, that was because you moved school yeah?

Me: So, any other girl after her?"
Ed: "Yeah, there was another one but we broke up as well."
Me: "How? I mean why?"
Ed: "I didn't have time to spend with her."
"Mom always nagged me to go home early."
Me: "Oh... I see"

*I guess that means mom disapproves the relationship*

Me: "Btw, are you close to Roxanne's hubby?"
Ed: "Yeah, we're good."
Me: "Good like...?"
Ed: "I speak with him when we catch up with Sis."
Me: "What about Harold's ex-girlfriend, when they were still together?"
Ed: "Which one?"
Me: "Whichever. Why don't you tell me both?"
Ed: "Well, I was fine with both."
"Just in case one becomes a family member..."
"I want good relationship with them."

Me: "Btw..., what I if I dated a white Aussie?"
Ed: "That's fine."
Me: "What about someone who's black?"
Ed: "Fine."
Me: "What abouttt..."
Ed: "Whatever. Fine. As long as it's not with a dude."

*awkward silence...*

Ed: "Err... Otherwise I wouldn't get a nephew or niece."

*even more awkward silence...*

(more after the jump)

I couldn't continue the conversation. Mom was sleeping just next to us. She could hear everything we were saying. So, I grabbed my phone and texted him.

Me: "Err... I'll tell you a secret. Please keep it to yourself."
Ed: "What is this about?"
Me: "Well, I think in the near future, same-sex marriage would be legal in Australia."
Ed: "And then?"
Me: "Same-sex: man and man, woman and woman." (I wasn't sure if he understood what I was trying to say)
Me: "Uh... And that's why I've been so persistent about staying in Australia."

Ed: "Why?"
Me: "Because I want to have a family."
Me: "But I can't marry a woman. It would be unfair for her."

Ed: "Why?"
Me: "I've tried. I've tried to change to become a straight guy. But after years I kept failing my deadlines." (Notice that I've been avoiding to say the phrase "I'm gay"?)

Ed: "Then?"
Me: "I was frustrated."

Ed: "Just because you haven't, doesn't mean you never will."
Me: "It's scary, Ed."
Me: "After more than 10 years of trying to become straight and always failing..."
Me: "Even if I can one day become a straight guy, I'd be paranoid that another day I'd turn gay again."
Me: "Imagine if I had married a woman and then I turn gay again."
Me: "That would be awfully unfair for the woman."

Ed: "Do you like boys or you just can't get attracted to women?"
Me: "I like guys. And I can't like girls."
Me: "I've tried to become at least bisexual. And it wasn't even working."
Me: "I thought I could try to at least like girls, even if I couldn't stop liking guys."

Ed: "You're not attracted to girls? How come?"
Me: "I've seen all kinds of girls nude pictures. From skinny models to curvy ones. They just don't arouse me."
Me: "It's like how you're not aroused by seeing guys naked."

Ed: "And you're aroused by seeing naked boys?"
Me: "Gosh! I can't believe I'm talking to you about this. Can we at least use the word guys instead of boys? Boys sounds too young and wrong."
Ed: "Yea guys."
Me: "I prefer someone my age, or perhaps a bit older."

And our conversation continued long. It wasn't the best response I was expecting, but he's pretty cool with that in the end. At least he doesn't avoid me or hate me. We spend the next nights watching the TV series Modern Family. I'm happy that Edward enjoyed that show.



The TV series features an extended family of a grandfather with his new wife and stepson, his married daughter with three kids and husband, and his son with a gay partner and adopted baby. I love its message of love and acceptance.

I flew to Sydney with Mum and Edward during the Christmas holiday. We went shopping at Boxing Day. And I bought Harold and Roxanne a copy of Modern Family's first season DVD. I hope the show can help them get used to the idea of gay couples adopting children, and fitting into the bigger family picture with straight siblings and parents.


I bought this can of Coke for Mum. She's not slightly impressed.

New Year 2012 Resolution
- Come out to my whole family before turning 25 years old.
- Find love.